Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Baby, Baby...

So, this past weekend we played host to Matt's brother & his wife and their family. It was a lot of fun, and I'm so glad they could come stay with us for the night. We hung out and watched TV Friday night and then Saturday it was off to Daley Plaza for the Halloween Event downtown where they have a circus show, pumpkin decorating and various other activities. We had a lot of fun. Being with them for longer than just a few hours in Kokomo was a nice treat. Their parents definitely love them and are doing an amazing job of raising those 3 kids.
It always takes me back to my own life and how I'm living it here in the big city.
The whole "kids" discussion always seems to make me think at times like these, and what works best for some does not always work for others.

I read a lot of "mommy" blogs because I have a dear friend who is a mother and has a popular blog that links up to other blogs that I'll check out from time to time. I enjoy peeking into these women's lives, wondering what I would do in their situations. Now, granted, it is not a "I wish I was a mom like them" thing or a biological clock sort of thing, it's more just curiosity and a time-killer for me.

The past few years have really shaped who I am and who I want to be. I have never been one of those women who says "I've always known I wanted to be a mom" or "I can't wait until I have kids so..this or that..." I just think I must've been cut from a different cloth, because I seriously teeter on this issue more than any other in my life. If there's ever a major life decision other than buying a home, or choosing a career, it's the kids issue. Is it for me? I don't know yet. I'm 30, and still don't have the answer to that question. I think I always thought it would happen one day, and it still may. But for now I'm just loving my life the way it is. I love having the chance to meet up with friends after work, go to dinner, a concert, a play, a museum, shopping, whatever, without having to think about anyone else first, except my husband of course, but he's usually with me! I really do applaud all moms for all the hard work they do though, it is definitely not an easy thing to be a parent. I think because I KNOW that, I question if it's right for me. I think because I'm putting off even getting a dog (!!) I question if it's right for me. I think because I still have things I want to do in my life, I question if it's right for me.

I know this is a never-ending debate, but being around children is at the same time uplifting and inspiring and then again, so very all-consuming of your energies and efforts. I guess I still have some time to decide. What's the rush? For now, I just enjoy being Auntie and that's good enough for me.


Adventures In Babywearing said...

Exactly- what's the rush? And I have always admired the fact that you've always been so smart about it!


Tiffany said...

I know this an old post, but this is my 1st visit to your blog. I also realize you are no longer debating the child thing. Even though I do have a child now. It's comforting to know someone else teetered on the idea. I always felt like less of a woman and quilty for it. My gosh it's like I'm reading my own thoughts over the years.

Jen K. said...

Tiffany thank you for taking the time to read all my blog posts. It is comforting for me too, knowing others have had these thoughts too. Sometimes when I would be around so many moms, I would be like, why am I not yearning for this? I needed more time, that was all. There is nothing wrong with that. Everyone is different and that is what makes us unique!! As long as we are honest with ourselves, there should be no reason to feel guilty :)