Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Ok, now we're into JUNE!

June 1, I can't believe it. I am so excited to have this time off, I know it is just going to FLY by, so I'm planning on enjoying every moment. I sure hope the baby comes soon though, it's not quite the same sitting here alone-that wasn't the point :) I have another dr. appointment tomorrow so I'm hoping some progress has been made. I don't feel any different. I have been feeling those tiny contractions that happen for a split second. They usually happen when I'm walking around but now they'll happen randomly when I'm just sitting on the couch! I just hope I don't have to be induced, that would be such a disappointment to me, probably even more than a c-section. I just want labor to happen naturally. I'm also starting to get really nervous about being in a hospital, like I'm wimping out and should have just done this on my own, at home. It's not a medical procedure, it's something that occurs naturally to human beings and I'm worried I won't be able to speak up for myself when things start to get pushed on me and I won't have time to react or think about if it's what I really want. Especially because I'm nervous and will want the baby out and probably end up going with the flow, despite what my heart feels.
I just wish I knew when this baby was coming, it's all I can think about. Every move now is so calculated depending on when she might arrive, or can we go do this or that activity and what if I go into labor? Matt and I went to the grocery store this weekend and started to plan meals and I'm thinking, what if we aren't able to get through the week and we have wasted all this food sitting in the fridge while we're in some hospital? I can't help thinking like that, I just do, it's where my mind goes.
I'm sure everything will be fine, no matter what, but I just want it all to be so perfect and I know that is a dream scenario.

So here is my letter to baby, hoping this will inspire her to arrive this week :)

Dear precious baby girl,

We are getting so excited and anxious for you to join our home. Friends and family are calling and wondering if there's been any news. Everyone wants you to arrive here safe and sound and is so excited to meet you, you have no idea.
Mommy and Daddy have all your clothes ready, your room is all ready and there is so much love pouring out of this house for you already. All we can talk about is how much our lives will change with you here and we are SO looking forward to that. Daddy can't wait until you are big enough to help him cook dinner with him and while I know that is several years away, he is already talking about it! We are so happy and blessed that you are coming into our lives and we can't wait to share all that we are with you.
So come when you are ready (but we're really hoping it is soon :)
You will be a June baby, and your birthdays will be so much fun with this warm weather!! Mommy is especially excited and fortunate to have some time off from work so we can get to know each other better.

We love you dear little one and can't wait to see what day you choose to enter our world.

Mommy and Daddy Kanable


juneann said...

Jen - I just freakin' cried at that letter. You are going to be the best Mommy ever! I'm sure when she comes, everything is going to happen exactly the way it's supposed to - and it will be GREAT. I can't wait to meet her!! Love you guys! -Junie

Anonymous said...

Jen,best post ever (tears running down my face) I cannot wait to meet my new granddaughter and finally learn her name. I will do everything I can to help you with your labor. I have been praying for an easy labor and delivery and a healthy mom and baby. See you soon. Love, Mom

Mimi's Toes said...

Jen, Such a precious letter to your baby girl. I am wiping away the tears too. I pray for an easy labor and delivery and for a clear mind to know how to handle the event that will change your life forever.

Adventures In Babywearing said...

Oh, sobs.

This is beautiful. You are going to do GREAT, you'll be so amazed and proud of yourself. You have your Mom there to be your advocate, and Matt, it's going to be perfect.


Anonymous said...

Ha! i was the same way about groceries. At the end I would only buy fresh produce for about 2 days at a time b/c I didn't want it rotting in my fridge while we were in the hospital.

The waiting at the end is so hard and like you talked about- the weird part is feeling something and every time wondering, "Is this the start?" I'm actually kind of glad I had no braxton hicks or contractions whatsoever til 2 nights before he came b/c I would have gotten too excited each time.

Can't wait to hear she's here!

Anonymous said...

Hi there,

I here you are in labor right now! You don't know me, but Caprismama referred me to you since you are a new mama (almost) in Chicago. I am due in July and have no mom friends in the city. So don't mind me while I stalk you via blog. :) Congratulations by the way!

Anonymous said...

Just curious, how far before the due date did you schedule your mat leave to start?

Anonymous said...

Just curious, how far before the due date did you schedule your mat leave to start?

Jen K. said...

Megan- I stopped working right before Memorial Day-1 week before my due date...